"There are three types of people who survive in Monster Gulch. Ones that become scavengers, ones that become bandits and ones that-"
"Are friends with sparkly vampires?"
"Get out of my narration (Enis) Italic!"
Bold, Shystar, and Italic are running through the woods quickly.
"Stop yodeling, you're attracting monsters!"
The three jump over a branch and pause at a river.
"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, this is where we cross. Who's got the supply bag?"
"Right here!" Italic hands the bag to Bold. Bold opens it and frowns, dumping out the contents.
"Why is it EMPTY?"
"Well I used the supplies to make a trail for going back-" Bold growled and gripped his shoulders.
"We're not GOING back!"
"Wow Bold your breath is a little stinky.."
Shystar sighed and broke the two apart. She pushed Bold forward. "Okay, how about you go first.."
"Because first smells worst! Now go."
Bold grunted and walked aross the rocks in the river.
"Uhm.. Shystar we may have a problem." Italic looked at the water nervously.
"Yeah, he's sparkly and likes to yodel." She patted him on the back. "C'mon." She walked across with ease.
"Come on Italic, what's the holdup?"
"Uh.. funny thing about vampires is, well, we're afraid of wa.. w-" He looked at the water and shuddered.
"Oh yeah wax museums. Everyone's terrified of those."
"Okay, can't you turn into a sparkle bat and fly over here?"
"That's a great idea! I need to concentrate for the next twenty minutes-"
A growl came from the forest. Italic's eyes widened and he turned around. Bold sighed and began to recross the river. "Why couldn't it have been wax museums?"
"Bold? Bold! Ahh!" Bold gripped Italic's shoulder and picked him up. "How did you survive this long?"
Shystar wrung out a peice of clothing.
"Ahh!" Italic nervously looked at the water while Bold grunted. "Stop!"
Bold dumped Italic on the ground. "Ugh."
Italic jumped up and grinned. "We made it! This calls for a victory fanfare!" He took out his kazoo and began to play. Bold growled and tossed the kazoo in the river.
Italic's mouth twitched. "What'd you do that for?"
Bold whispered in his ear. "It's what the book said to do."
"Pfft." Shystar grinned and picked up her baseball bat before walking off.
"Wait-" Italic took out the book and frowned.
"Let's keep moving...unlike you, some of these monsters can actually swim."
Resident Enis - Monster Gulch -
"Garlic cloves, garlic bread, garlic sauce, wooden stakes, silver stakes, T-Bone stakes and occasionally intersecting perpendicular lines..."
"Sunlight, what about sunlight? Does that kill you too?"
"That? Nah, I'm just allergic to it."
The three approach a ratty, torn-down, disgusting looking house.
"Hello? What do we have here?"
"Looks like an abandoned shack."
Shystar sniffed the area. "Smells like an abandoned shack. Well, it's not the ritziest place we've been, but it's not bad!"
"Where's the parts where it's not bad?"
"Look, it's got a roof, it's got walls, and a solid door!" Shystar opened the door and it fell off it's hinges.
"Well, it's got a roof and walls.."
Shystar walked in, the two others outside.
"Which might keep us alive until daybreak.."
"Can't we just camp out under the stars..?"
Shystar curiously picked up a flashlight and turned it on. Still worked.
"Monster gulch isn't the most.. friendly.. place after dark."
She shone it on a pair of.. underwear? Laying on the couch. She picked it up and walked back out.
Bold frowned and pointed at the underwear on her head, the flashlight held onto it.
"Good news is that there's food in the kitchen. Bad news is that it tastes like rotten zuchini."
Bold looked behind him. "Sun's going down. We should loot this place and leave in the morning."
"And miss this gorgeous sunset..?"
Shystar placed a hand on his arm. "Don't worry Italic, think of it like a.. sleepover."
"I LOVE SLEEPOVERS!"
The three were laying against a cabinet, frowning.
"This isn't like a sleepover.."
Bold growled. "Would you like to play charades?"
Shystar gasped, the underwear-hat still on her head. "I would!"
Bold stood up. "Let me see your underwear."
"So we're not gonna play charades?"
"No we're not gonna play charades."
He walked over to a door and opened it. "This looks like a bedroom..." The flashlight shone across a baby doll.
"...I'll make a snack in the kitchen instead."
Shystar peeked through a window curtain. "Is there anything interesting going on outside?" A werewolf popped up, growling.
Italic sighed and played with a spoon, placing a rock on it. He hit one end and the rock splashed into Bold's mug.
Shystar sat next to him. "Hey buddy. You're being awfully quiet. Which I really didn't think was possible for you."
Italic muttered, "Guess I've been a little homesick. Never been away from the mansion so long."
Bold huffed. "We've been gone for one day!"
"..I don't get out much..."
Shystar sighed. "Look, I know this place is a little creepy and weird, but Bold's creepy and weird-"
Bold looked up from the can of beans he was eating. "Hey!"
"But we still like him, right?"
Italic looked her sadly. She smiled softly.
"Cheer up Italic, no need to feel so sad."
"So chin up, Italic,"
She stood up and tried to make him smile.
"And just between us, there's still a million ways to put that grin back on your face!"
"Like what, exactly?" Shystar pushed him off the chair and dragged him over to the sofa.
"Imagine that floor is hot lava,"
"And not just a hotbed of fleas.." She jumped off and ran over too a blood-stained photo.
"Pretend that this blood stain's a painting, and that we're heisting a fine masterpiece!"
She took it and ran off, grabbing the flashlight.
"Make believe that this creepy inscription shows a passageway built in the wall!" Bold grabbed another can of beans from the cabinet... the cabinet slowly opened. Bold gulped and put the can back before backing away.
Shystar put glasses on Italic and spun him around. He yelped and hit a wall, falling over.
"It's not easy to see, but kid, take it from me, that this place isn't so awful at all!"
Italic, still laying on the floor, smiled. "You're right, I feel way better!"
Bold stepped into the hallway and pointed behind him. "There's a secret passageway in the kitchen-"
Italic jumped in front of him and jumped onto the sofa.
"This isn't a mold-ridden sofa;
"it's a pony named Buckaroo Jones!"
Bold opened the fridge to find a skeleton behind the door.
"And here's a Shakespearean actor who looks like a pile of bones!"
Bold smacked the skeleton with a pan. "Hey!"
"This isn't a chamber for torture; it's a spot to drink tea with our dolls!"
Shystar poured dirty water into a cup and made a disgusted face. "Maybe we should drink coffee instead.." Italic nodded.
"Pretend this thing's a grenade-" Italic threw a grenade at Bold who was still searching for food.
"-that was actually a grenade-"
"-but hey, this isn't a waffle at all!" He flung a waffle at Shy.
"It's not 'waffle', it's 'awful'!"
Italic ate a piece from it. "Tastes fine to me.."
Shystar huffed and pinned Italic to a wall. He yelped in surprise. "This place may be smelly and scary," Italic sniffed the air.
"And it may be the last place we see,"
Italic joined in, singing.
"But I know that for sure there is one certain cure to endure it all, take it from me!"
Bold walked in, growling. "Gah, all right look, we are DONE with make-believe. There's no floor made of hat lava, and there's no Buckaroo Jones! And there's no tea parties EITHER!"
Italic pouted. "The hand grenade was real.." Bold rolled his eyes at him. "Heh, sorry."
"You guys want real? Here's what's real about this place! This place really reeks like an outhouse, and really has mildew to spare!" He pushed the two into another room and pointed to a photo.
"I'm really creeped out by these portraits," Italic gulped and moved backwards, almost falling into a chair riddled with nails!
"and I really wouldn't sit in that chair!"
He led them over to the fridge. "The food in the fridge has expired,"
Bold pointed down a hallway. "And something's dripping halfway down the hall!" Italic and Shy ran over to the dripping. "We could imagine it's a pool!"
"Oh yeah that would be cool!"
"This place really isn't so awful at all!" Bold facepalmed.
He hit his head against a wall.
A puppet show made out of curtains!
"This is the worst thing I've seen-"
"A three-player roleplaying game!"
"What does this attribute mean-?"
Extreme indoor racing; fine wine and cheese tasting!
"I still think it's pointless and lame!"
Shystar hit Bold with a garbage bag.
"Imagine we're all in a swordfight-"
"-with garbage instead of real swords!"
Bold attempted to play a guitar.
"I'd like to pretend we're a rock band, but it's clear that we don't know any chords."
Italic grinned and pointed to someone behind him. "Let's pretend that the shadow's a giant, not a guy who's been there all along!~"
"Weren't it all in our heads, we'd probably be dead.. this place isn't so awful at all!"
Italic turned the three around. "It isn't so awful at all! Wow, that was really good! Wait, who was singing the bass?"
"Oh that makes sense. AHH!" Italic turned around and yelped. The figure stepped out of the shadows.
"Hi, uh, you must be the homeowner!"
The person rolled his eyes and picked up a hammer. Italic's eyes widened. "Love what you're doin' to the place." Shystar laughed. "That uh, that torture chamber's just for show.. right?"
The firgure growled. "Not for show.." Bold bolted out of the house. "Definetely not for show!"
Italic frowned slightly. "So he does host tea parties!" Bold grabbed the back of Italic's shirt and pulled him away. "Time to go!"
Bold and Italic quickly knocked over items. "This place isn't so awful at all!" Shystar whacked the person on the back of the head with her baseball bat.
"You know what is awful? That headache in the morning!"
Bold looked out the window. "Sun's up."
"We should grab our things and head outta here."
"And leave this guy's AWESOME stuff!?" Bold and Shystar turned to each other and shrugged. The trio quickly began looting the house.
"There are three types of people who survive in Monster Gulch. People who become scavengers, people who become bandits, and people who are friends with sparkly vampires. And apparently we're all three."
"Let's be a bit choosier where we stay tonight."
"Ooh, I know a guy! Technically a werewolf, but he has a summer home here! Don't worry, he's not home on weekends!"
Resident Enis - Monster Gulch -
(This is tooooootally not what I think Italic and Bold sound like, pffftttt-)